Stuck in the loop

stuck in the loop where every time I feel secure, I get insecurity.

every time actions make me feel warm, then burn me with flames. every time they hold me in their arm to make me feel their warmth — that same every time they burn me with flames.

it’s happiness and trust when you don’t know their thorns; when you see them, it’s your fault for holding too tight.

but how can I not? how can I not crave the summer of your skin, the way laughter softens the air, the way promises sound like lullabies before they splinter into glass?

getting in this loop, when I am in summer — enjoying every moment — and then in winter with cold breath, cold hands, and snow in my heart.

do you know what it feels like to love both seasons at once? to keep reaching for warmth while frost creeps in? to hold you like fire, then watch you turn to ash in my palms?

if I close my eyes, I forget the thorns, I only see roses. but when I open them, I’m bleeding — again, again, again.

this is not just a poem, it’s a letter to you: I want the warmth without the burn, the arms without the knives, the trust without the breaking. if you cannot give that, then don’t ask me to hold you tight.

This piece is more than words—it’s a reminder that love and vulnerability walk hand in hand. Writing it felt like releasing a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I hope it touches your heart the way it touched mine.

If this poem spoke to you, share it with someone who might need gentle words today.

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